What's for lunch, Mom?

It's Christmas break, so obviously there's no place I'd rather be than home. But after living on my own for so long, I forget what it's like to have two live-in roommates, plus a dog running around. For some reason, every time I walk into the house, I still expect my dad to be doing something up on the roof all day and my mom to be spraying Solarcaine on my war wounds. It's not like that anymore. Here's the latest:

Dad: watches a lot more TV than I remember - most commonly, music videos On Demand. I often hear the famed work of Rhianna, Lady Gaga, and Beyonce coming from the family room when only he is in there. To follow up with that, I noticed his library bag contained their CDs. Mid life crisis, anyone?

He also eats a lot of sweets. Today for lunch, he downed a bag of Twizzlers, and chased it with a cheeseburger. Our freezer is also packed with a variety of bakery goods - cinnamon buns, sweet rolls, coffecakes, etc. - all cut into single-sized servings and delicately placed into ziplock bags. How can he get away with this diet? I'm concerned.

As if the strange TV and eating habits weren't enough, I've caught him napping more than once a day with our dog. I fear he is heading down the road to be a Biggest Loser contestant, even though looks exactly the same as 10 years ago.

It's safe to say he has clearly relieved himself of his man-of-the-house duties, as I was the one who did all the dusting and shoveling around the house today. However, I suppose 55 years of hard work warrants the man a break. Where's the Swiffer?

Mom: is doing a lot more busy-work than I'm used to. Today, she decluttered the dining room table, sorted a tub of winter gloves and hats, AND cleaned out an entire closet to make room for 6 wine glasses. What happend to making lunches and watching Days Of Our Lives? Now she's pulling out things I made in first grade and getting nostaligic on me - I don't know how much of this I can take.

Unlike my dad, my mom seems to be caring a lot more about her health and fitness these days. Today she commented that she was feeling "fat" - which is news to me considering this woman previously had no regard towards her 4-times-a-week Coldstone Creamery habbit. Now her and I do a lot together - including watch Jersey Shore, bake brownies, and shop - but never has she asked me to attend a "Body Pump" workout class at the local gym. I'm in shock.

Finally, I'm noticing she's cutting more coupons than usual, and she's replaced Charmin toilet paper for something generic from Target. I know times are tough, but I never thought of her as someone who would skimp on quality toilet paper!?!

Dog: There's not much to say about this creepy crawler. She pretty much has resorted to following my dad around everywhere, which is fine with me since it means she won't eat my underwear or destroy the things in my room.

Needless to say, I'm going to have to keep an eye out on these freaks.